Last night before bed the 3 of us played hide and seek with Yuri. Actually only Yuri hid, Andrew and I took turns helping him hide. I must say that I was the superior 'hider.' Yuri's first hiding spot was just in a large closet space...although it did take me awhile to find him. But mine was even better. Andrew must have gone around that flat 6 times looking for him. I was laughing because Andrew kept saying "this is impossible, how am I missing this...the place isn't that big." I refused to give him away. Circling the kitchen, hall, bedrooms...hmmmm where could he be.
Andrew even tried yelling out funny Russian phrases hoping to make Yuri laugh--too bad the kid is good at hide and seek--it didn't work. He even started teasing him about liking girls thinking Yuri would crack up...nope. So, where did he hide.....wait for it...
Finally Andrew looked over to the end of our room and happened to notice a pair of his shorts, in his open suitcase, were breathing... up and down...ever so slowly. Ah ha there was little Yuri... in the suitcase!
After about 20 minutes (I kid you not) of searching "Mr. Vanderbilt Grad" finally found 10yr old Yuri curled into the fetal position in his open suitcase under a pair of shorts. Man Mom's smart hehehe. The funniest part was watching Yuri imitate his dad looking for him. He was walking around repeating the phrases and cracking up--fully body laugh--imitating him. It was really funny. I know perhaps it isn't the most interesting story, but it really was a fun little game.
Yuri begged to hide once more before his shower so we let him. However, this time it was Dad's turn to hide him. In trying to beat my awesome spot he put him on top of a wall unit type thing in the bedroom. It was good...I guess (jk)... I only found Yuri because I was calling out the lyrics of a song he sings--I was calling out the RIGHT lyrics which Yuri insists are wrong--it drives him nuts... so finally he couldn't take it anymore and yelled out the right lyrics to correct me (well right to him). Finding him wasn't the funny part--I have pictures to help paint this picture and will try to load them ASAP--it was the fact that he was covered, and I mean covered in dust.
He sat up and realized it and started laughing, I can't wait for you to hear his laugh. Its the cutest kid giggle ever. I guess we were all tired because at that moment it was the funniest thing we had seen in about a week. For those of you who know Andrew well you can picture him doing that funny sounding cry laugh thing--he rarely does it--it has to really be funny, I guess. So of course hearing it made me laugh. The joke was on Andrew though because he had to get Yuri down and Yuri took that opportunity to 'share' the dust with his Dad.
It's the simple things ...but it was a great night...the fun comes out wherever you are I guess.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
3 Days later...
Three days later and I'm back in the internet cafe with Andrew and Yuri. Except now Andrew is playing the car game with Yuri...ah my two 'boys.' :)
My Mom has some crazy connections and I have to give her a big "Thank You" because somehow the woman managed to get our fingerprints cleared and back to the Embassy on Friday--INSANE--they weren't supposed to be back until the next Friday (7 days later). The only catch is that the Embassy here was already closed...and suprise...they are closed on the weekend and wouldn't you know Labor day is Monday. I'm actually laughing as I type because like I said, at this point getting home almost seems like a pipe dream. Sigh, oh well.
Amazingly enough the boredom has turned into relaxation...kind of. There isn't a lot to do if you make up your mind to stay around the flat, which like I said we think is better for Yuri...some sense of normal life... so we read, play, eat, walk around, go to the computer lab...and do it all again until bed time. Exciting huh? All in all though it's really not bad. We are going to the Embassy first thing Tuesday morning and hoping to get a flight back on Weds. So we have our fingers crossed...but I'm not getting my hopes up.
I will say Yuri has come into his own here in Kiev. I think he must be starting to relax a little and be more of himself. I don't really know how to explain this but it seems he is just more comfortable here than in Simferopal. Which makes us wonder if perhaps he thought he would run into someone he knew or something? I dunno, I mean we are talking about a boy who insists he is grown up, even though he still makes car noises when playing with his car toys :), and although we just introduced him to Jello a day ago thought he knew how to make it himself. We bought pre-made jello and then decided he'd get a kick out of making it...we were right. It was so funny because he kept telling us how we weren't doing it right--we couldn't possibly know since, you know he's smarter than us and all--have I told you that story? It really is funny.
I realize that I haven't filled you in on a lot of things about Yuri and what he likes, how he acts... so I am going to try to give you an update....Here goes...
Yuri loves all things cars--loves them. This is not something Andrew got him into, although of course Andrew couldn't be happier. They go around pointing out cars and saying which are their favorites. Yuri's way of saying he loves things is to either make a motion to show his heart pounding (learned from Andrew) or to say "I love you? No?" Which in his world means do you love that? He hasn't learned how to use the phrase "I love you" quite yet. I mean he knows "I love you" but he doesn't realize that you can say "I love that...car or toy" without saying the full "I love you." It's cute.
We've decided that if Yuri was on a stranded island with only 2 things available to him it would be his bike and ice cream. To him, those 2 items make the world go round. When we talk about going to America and what will be there he always makes sure we remember to add the bike and ice cream.
Yuri's English has improved more this week alone than the entire time we've been with him. We got a little pocket translator that can say the words in Russian or English (and it was actually quite reasonable) and it has been wonderful. Yuri loves to play with it. He is starting to communicate more in English and try to learn words. We are very pleased. He understands a lot more than he can say. For some reason he likes the word 'trashcan.' I don't know why--maybe because he just learned it? But he will walk around repeating it in a sing song manner almost..."trashcan...traaaashcan..then quickly trashcan..." We just shrug and smile, ok, so he likes trashcans...interesting.
Yesterday we were in McDonald's and he burped--it wasn't loud but he proudly smiled and said with outstretched hands "Excuuuse me whole McDonald's."
"Whoa! Good English buddy" Andrew replied. How did he learn that? We didn't teach him the word 'whole,' nevertheless it was great. It's the simple things :)
My Mom has some crazy connections and I have to give her a big "Thank You" because somehow the woman managed to get our fingerprints cleared and back to the Embassy on Friday--INSANE--they weren't supposed to be back until the next Friday (7 days later). The only catch is that the Embassy here was already closed...and suprise...they are closed on the weekend and wouldn't you know Labor day is Monday. I'm actually laughing as I type because like I said, at this point getting home almost seems like a pipe dream. Sigh, oh well.
Amazingly enough the boredom has turned into relaxation...kind of. There isn't a lot to do if you make up your mind to stay around the flat, which like I said we think is better for Yuri...some sense of normal life... so we read, play, eat, walk around, go to the computer lab...and do it all again until bed time. Exciting huh? All in all though it's really not bad. We are going to the Embassy first thing Tuesday morning and hoping to get a flight back on Weds. So we have our fingers crossed...but I'm not getting my hopes up.
I will say Yuri has come into his own here in Kiev. I think he must be starting to relax a little and be more of himself. I don't really know how to explain this but it seems he is just more comfortable here than in Simferopal. Which makes us wonder if perhaps he thought he would run into someone he knew or something? I dunno, I mean we are talking about a boy who insists he is grown up, even though he still makes car noises when playing with his car toys :), and although we just introduced him to Jello a day ago thought he knew how to make it himself. We bought pre-made jello and then decided he'd get a kick out of making it...we were right. It was so funny because he kept telling us how we weren't doing it right--we couldn't possibly know since, you know he's smarter than us and all--have I told you that story? It really is funny.
I realize that I haven't filled you in on a lot of things about Yuri and what he likes, how he acts... so I am going to try to give you an update....Here goes...
Yuri loves all things cars--loves them. This is not something Andrew got him into, although of course Andrew couldn't be happier. They go around pointing out cars and saying which are their favorites. Yuri's way of saying he loves things is to either make a motion to show his heart pounding (learned from Andrew) or to say "I love you? No?" Which in his world means do you love that? He hasn't learned how to use the phrase "I love you" quite yet. I mean he knows "I love you" but he doesn't realize that you can say "I love that...car or toy" without saying the full "I love you." It's cute.
We've decided that if Yuri was on a stranded island with only 2 things available to him it would be his bike and ice cream. To him, those 2 items make the world go round. When we talk about going to America and what will be there he always makes sure we remember to add the bike and ice cream.
Yuri's English has improved more this week alone than the entire time we've been with him. We got a little pocket translator that can say the words in Russian or English (and it was actually quite reasonable) and it has been wonderful. Yuri loves to play with it. He is starting to communicate more in English and try to learn words. We are very pleased. He understands a lot more than he can say. For some reason he likes the word 'trashcan.' I don't know why--maybe because he just learned it? But he will walk around repeating it in a sing song manner almost..."trashcan...traaaashcan..then quickly trashcan..." We just shrug and smile, ok, so he likes trashcans...interesting.
Yesterday we were in McDonald's and he burped--it wasn't loud but he proudly smiled and said with outstretched hands "Excuuuse me whole McDonald's."
"Whoa! Good English buddy" Andrew replied. How did he learn that? We didn't teach him the word 'whole,' nevertheless it was great. It's the simple things :)
Friday, August 29, 2008
The Day After...
Well this morning I woke up and thought...oh well, so we are still here in Ukraine and our flight home leaves in a few hours...without us. And in my sleepiness it felt quite normal, we've been here so long that being here feels more real than leaving. Kind of like a mirage in the desert, that's what getting home is right now--haha.
I am better today, man I was a case yesterday. I kept crying, I was getting on my own nerves :)
But today I've accepted it and there are worse things in the world. So we have another week.... The flat is in a better location than the one in Simferopal only in the sense that we can walk to an internet cafe, grocery, stores and McDonald's other than that it's not so great in comparison. There is no TV/DVD and we can't hop on and off of a bus like we could in Simferopal. All things considered being stuck in Simferopal would feel much more like home. But, I'm not complaining...ok maybe a little, you would too.
Today we decided to try letting Yuri play kid games on the computer so he could come to the internet cafe with us, rather than us each taking turns. We were worried at first that this may pose a problem since over half of the people in here are playing violent computer games and some look Yuri's age or younger. However, so far it is working out very well, other than the fact that Yuri won't let Andrew help him when he is stuck nor ask a stranger--not because he is scared to ask but because he wouldn't feel smart. You think I'm kidding but I'm not. He likes us to know that he is smart--he says this.
Speaking of smart, yesterday Yuri informed Galya that he is smarter than us. She laughed but we know he means it...that makes us laugh. He is learning, slowly but surely. We have told him that although we may look like fools here we know what we are doing in America. I'm sure he is thinking "Yeah right." He is currently grounded from ice cream while in Kiev. This was due to the fact that he got off of the train at a stop (that was not ours) on the way to Kiev--after being told not to more than once. He thougth it was really cute and ran--he doesn't think it's cute now that he can't have ice cream. I will say that I didn't count on being in Kiev so long so it has now become a slight punishment for me as I don't want to eat it in front of him (which is amazing because I didn't even want it til I realized I couldn't/shouldn't). Yesterday he kept trying to say he would do things if he could have ice cream or he'd say he was tired because he didn't have his ice cream. It's cute...kind of...ok it is but it is bad. We love him but man has he got some attitude. It is kind of funny because he asked us through the interpreter "why ice cream? can't you take something else?" We had to laugh because it was a fair question. Unfortunately it has to be ice cream because the bike is already gone so we don't have much else to leverage... so for now....ice cream it is.
I am better today, man I was a case yesterday. I kept crying, I was getting on my own nerves :)
But today I've accepted it and there are worse things in the world. So we have another week.... The flat is in a better location than the one in Simferopal only in the sense that we can walk to an internet cafe, grocery, stores and McDonald's other than that it's not so great in comparison. There is no TV/DVD and we can't hop on and off of a bus like we could in Simferopal. All things considered being stuck in Simferopal would feel much more like home. But, I'm not complaining...ok maybe a little, you would too.
Today we decided to try letting Yuri play kid games on the computer so he could come to the internet cafe with us, rather than us each taking turns. We were worried at first that this may pose a problem since over half of the people in here are playing violent computer games and some look Yuri's age or younger. However, so far it is working out very well, other than the fact that Yuri won't let Andrew help him when he is stuck nor ask a stranger--not because he is scared to ask but because he wouldn't feel smart. You think I'm kidding but I'm not. He likes us to know that he is smart--he says this.
Speaking of smart, yesterday Yuri informed Galya that he is smarter than us. She laughed but we know he means it...that makes us laugh. He is learning, slowly but surely. We have told him that although we may look like fools here we know what we are doing in America. I'm sure he is thinking "Yeah right." He is currently grounded from ice cream while in Kiev. This was due to the fact that he got off of the train at a stop (that was not ours) on the way to Kiev--after being told not to more than once. He thougth it was really cute and ran--he doesn't think it's cute now that he can't have ice cream. I will say that I didn't count on being in Kiev so long so it has now become a slight punishment for me as I don't want to eat it in front of him (which is amazing because I didn't even want it til I realized I couldn't/shouldn't). Yesterday he kept trying to say he would do things if he could have ice cream or he'd say he was tired because he didn't have his ice cream. It's cute...kind of...ok it is but it is bad. We love him but man has he got some attitude. It is kind of funny because he asked us through the interpreter "why ice cream? can't you take something else?" We had to laugh because it was a fair question. Unfortunately it has to be ice cream because the bike is already gone so we don't have much else to leverage... so for now....ice cream it is.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Stuck in Ukraine...
Well I was wanting to write more blog entries before we left and looks like my wish came true...yipee.... We were set to leave tomorrow morning at 11:45am and were so excited. All we had to do was go to the US Embassy today to get Yuri's visa. The plan was to "request" to get it back today even though you usually have to wait a day...seeing as we were held up with passport issues and having trouble getting out of Simferopal..etc
Getting the visa wasn't going to be a problem it appeared and I was about to do a little 'going home dance' until the Ukrainian at the Embassy said that we had a problem. GULP Our fingerprints expired while in the Ukraine. Due to the fact that we could have potentially committed a crime--in America, even though we haven't been there--we have to be re-fingerprinted. Oh no big deal, right? WRONG. The fingerprints have to be taken in Kiev at the embassy and sent to the FBI in America. Don't worry he smiles... it only takes 7 business days.
Waterworks.
Yep, I broke down crying right there at the kiosk.
So we won't be arriving in good ol America tomorrow as planned.
Pray for us and look for lots of blogs that have been saved up due to lack of time to post.
Oh and if anyone can get to the FBI put in a good word ;)
Getting the visa wasn't going to be a problem it appeared and I was about to do a little 'going home dance' until the Ukrainian at the Embassy said that we had a problem. GULP Our fingerprints expired while in the Ukraine. Due to the fact that we could have potentially committed a crime--in America, even though we haven't been there--we have to be re-fingerprinted. Oh no big deal, right? WRONG. The fingerprints have to be taken in Kiev at the embassy and sent to the FBI in America. Don't worry he smiles... it only takes 7 business days.
Waterworks.
Yep, I broke down crying right there at the kiosk.
So we won't be arriving in good ol America tomorrow as planned.
Pray for us and look for lots of blogs that have been saved up due to lack of time to post.
Oh and if anyone can get to the FBI put in a good word ;)
Monday, August 11, 2008
Bringing Yuri to the Flat
I want to start by saying that no matter how well I describe Yuri's first night with us, nothing will do it justice. My hope is that once we can post pictures (still trying to figure out..something at the internet cafe won't let us) you'll be able to better get a feel for how wonderful it was.
Of course after we left court we ate in Jonquoy--one last time...and may I say thank goodness because either my senses kicked in or the cook was having a bad day, because the food was awful. Then we hopped on the bus, with Yuri this time (yeaaah!) heading back to Simferopal. You'd think he would be a little nervous... but not at all. When we got to the flat and opened the door to let him in, bike in tow, he said "wow." Smiled at us and started running from room to room. He was really excited....so were we. Watching him take it all in was really rewarding to say the least. He just seemed amazed. He went into the family room and saw the tv and the cd player and just started dancing around--jumping doing handstands, flopping onto the couch and hugging us in between each. He loves music and quickly turned on the CD player and went nuts... just doing his little dance all over the house. It was really exciting.
Inga, the owner of the flat, has a few DVD's in Russian and English so we watched a kid friendly one. Pulled out the trundle on the couch and got Yuri set up with a pillow, stuffed animal and blanket. He snacked on raisins and a juice box (he likes healthy food) and had his little arms propped up behind his head. He looked so happy, so relaxed....maybe even a little relieved.
Since it was a special night we let him stay up for the whole movie. We carried him to bed and we all said our prayers together. He listened to his praise and worship CD from 'Babushka' (Grandmaw--my Mom) until he fell asleep. Before falling asleep he just looked at us and around his room, and smiled. He was still relatively excited and understandably so, and so when we heard him in his room just looking around we played dumb... Now I wonder, is that what my parents did too? Because my sister, Jessica, and I would play in bed for what felt like hours...giggling and talking and running around. Ah memories... Funny how having a child of your own makes you think back to your own childhood so often. I can say I definately have a new appreciation for my own parents and the life they gave me. There is so much to be said about feeling safe, worry free and secure. Now Yuri is beginning to feel that way and we are so unbelieveably happy. He told Oksana on the way to Simferopal that he was already a home child...and wasn't even home. It was adorable. A home child is something they call kids with parents and a home. The others are orphan childs--it's sad.
I have to admit we must have peaked into his room at least a dozen times watching him sleep. It was something I don't know how to describe, I'm at a loss for words...which is strange for me because...well I talk...A LOT :) Loving Yuri has come so naturally and to our relief he seems to feel the same about us. It's been just shy of 2 years since the first time I hugged this little rugrat and seeing him rest so peacefully in a decent bed with clean, warm covers and a full tummy is worth every penny, worry and stress in the world.
That night I hugged Andrew and we agreed--we made it, we made it. We are a family... we have a "home child" as Yuri would say.
Goodnight with love, from Ukraine
Of course after we left court we ate in Jonquoy--one last time...and may I say thank goodness because either my senses kicked in or the cook was having a bad day, because the food was awful. Then we hopped on the bus, with Yuri this time (yeaaah!) heading back to Simferopal. You'd think he would be a little nervous... but not at all. When we got to the flat and opened the door to let him in, bike in tow, he said "wow." Smiled at us and started running from room to room. He was really excited....so were we. Watching him take it all in was really rewarding to say the least. He just seemed amazed. He went into the family room and saw the tv and the cd player and just started dancing around--jumping doing handstands, flopping onto the couch and hugging us in between each. He loves music and quickly turned on the CD player and went nuts... just doing his little dance all over the house. It was really exciting.
Inga, the owner of the flat, has a few DVD's in Russian and English so we watched a kid friendly one. Pulled out the trundle on the couch and got Yuri set up with a pillow, stuffed animal and blanket. He snacked on raisins and a juice box (he likes healthy food) and had his little arms propped up behind his head. He looked so happy, so relaxed....maybe even a little relieved.
Since it was a special night we let him stay up for the whole movie. We carried him to bed and we all said our prayers together. He listened to his praise and worship CD from 'Babushka' (Grandmaw--my Mom) until he fell asleep. Before falling asleep he just looked at us and around his room, and smiled. He was still relatively excited and understandably so, and so when we heard him in his room just looking around we played dumb... Now I wonder, is that what my parents did too? Because my sister, Jessica, and I would play in bed for what felt like hours...giggling and talking and running around. Ah memories... Funny how having a child of your own makes you think back to your own childhood so often. I can say I definately have a new appreciation for my own parents and the life they gave me. There is so much to be said about feeling safe, worry free and secure. Now Yuri is beginning to feel that way and we are so unbelieveably happy. He told Oksana on the way to Simferopal that he was already a home child...and wasn't even home. It was adorable. A home child is something they call kids with parents and a home. The others are orphan childs--it's sad.
I have to admit we must have peaked into his room at least a dozen times watching him sleep. It was something I don't know how to describe, I'm at a loss for words...which is strange for me because...well I talk...A LOT :) Loving Yuri has come so naturally and to our relief he seems to feel the same about us. It's been just shy of 2 years since the first time I hugged this little rugrat and seeing him rest so peacefully in a decent bed with clean, warm covers and a full tummy is worth every penny, worry and stress in the world.
That night I hugged Andrew and we agreed--we made it, we made it. We are a family... we have a "home child" as Yuri would say.
Goodnight with love, from Ukraine
Battle of the wills
Today did not start off on the right foot, in fact even saying that is an understatement. It was more of a “knock down dragout.” 3 hour “knock down drag out” to be exact, just be glad you weren’t there. The best way I can think to relate this is perhaps an argument with a toddler who does not yet speak or fully understand language. Clearly we can see that Yuri is acting out, but we also want to ensure he understands our discipline. Good thing we have years of practice with our other children…oh wait we don’t have any other children. No wonder this was so exhausting.
Don’t get me wrong, overall Yuri is a very good child—he really is. But he no longer walks on water. He is swimming like the rest of us. Yuri, we learned, is a very strong willed child and is used to being his own boss. We were bound to have a battle of the wills at some point, I suppose better sooner than later.
Oksana had to go to Odessa to help with an adoption for a week, she just found out yesterday. She tried to refuse but seeing as we are so independent we encouraged her that we would be fine. In fact, after finding out that Odessa is a beach town we thought we may even join her. The plan for today was to pack lightly and try to get tickets to Odessa today and head to the beach—simple enough right? Wrong.
First of all Yuri had an accident and wet the bed. However, he couldn’t tell us that for 2 reasons. One, of course, he doesn’t speak English. Two, what ten year old wants to say ‘hey, new parents I just wet the bed. Can you hand wash these sheets in the sink. I know that they smell like pee but we’re all family right? Luckily we picked up on it right away. Even new parents can smell pee. I know Mom, Dad I had this one coming. I wet the bed till I was like 25. Andrew finally refused to cope with this idiosyncrasy in my personality.
First off, bed wetting is probably not a huge problem for Yuri its that his parents completely forgot the whole ‘don’t give a kid gallon worth of juice before bedtime’ rule…today no liquids after noon. I do wonder if this is in fact why he makes his bed religiously. It might also explain why when he saw me this morning, he climbed back into the bed and pulled up the covers. To spare him embarrassment (and because we don’t know how to communicate that ‘it is ok its just an accident’) we changed both our sheets and his. However, he wanted to make up for the self-inflicted embarrassment by being cute to get attention. The only problem is the things he was doing were not cute, they were quote “bad behavior.” Thus the day starts….
As I was saying, we were trying to pack up for the beach. We then realized the clothes washer had stopped just before the spin cycle. Now the only clothes that fit Yuri…were soaking wet. (Sigh)Clean, but wet. There was our second obstacle of the day. No dryer and no Target. On top of these small problems is the continued stressor of Yuri acting out. To make a long story short, Yuri was misbehaving, not minding and pretending not to understand. Unfortunately for him his actions showed he clearly understood enough to know that when asked if he was sorry, he said “niet.”
Yikes, now we have a problem….. He continued to pout, cry and act ugly when we sent him to his room. Mostly it was just a waiting game. I’m not going to say it was easy—it was not. The only plus side to disciplining a child who doesn’t speak English, is you can discuss how to handle the situation right in front of him. Homefield advantage for us. We eventually had to call Oksana to interpret the instructions, explanations and rules going forward. The bad part was he tried to manipulate Oksana, too. In the end after much waiting a determined Mom and Dad (that’s us) won! Now I know you are sitting there sympathizing with him saying “ahhh the poor kid didn’t get it, give him a break.” But before you do, hear me out… When he was asked in Russian if he was sorry he promptly yelled out ‘niet!’ Finally, after what seemed like hours, a white flag. A tear stained freckled face boy emerged from his room. Papa said, in Russian ‘Is Yuri sorry?’ ‘Da’ he replied. He then told us both in English he was sorry. We then bent down, hugged him, accepted the apology and told him we loved him. It was a bad battle but a good family hug. It ruined our beach plans for the day, but Doctor Phil would have been proud.
Now that its over we are looking forward to the next battle as much as a root canal. Earlier while we were planning our next parental move (three University degrees between us outwitted by a 10 year old Ukrainian) I said to my husband “I wish I could call my Mom or Dad right now.” I then announced “I don’t deserved this I never acted this way”. Andrew smiled said, “I deserved it. Didn’t I tell you about the time Mom carried me out of Rich’s (now Macy’s) over her shoulder screaming for a $5 candy bar?”
“So this is your fault.”
We both laughed. Be careful who you marry. They may be carrying bad karma.
Don’t get me wrong, overall Yuri is a very good child—he really is. But he no longer walks on water. He is swimming like the rest of us. Yuri, we learned, is a very strong willed child and is used to being his own boss. We were bound to have a battle of the wills at some point, I suppose better sooner than later.
Oksana had to go to Odessa to help with an adoption for a week, she just found out yesterday. She tried to refuse but seeing as we are so independent we encouraged her that we would be fine. In fact, after finding out that Odessa is a beach town we thought we may even join her. The plan for today was to pack lightly and try to get tickets to Odessa today and head to the beach—simple enough right? Wrong.
First of all Yuri had an accident and wet the bed. However, he couldn’t tell us that for 2 reasons. One, of course, he doesn’t speak English. Two, what ten year old wants to say ‘hey, new parents I just wet the bed. Can you hand wash these sheets in the sink. I know that they smell like pee but we’re all family right? Luckily we picked up on it right away. Even new parents can smell pee. I know Mom, Dad I had this one coming. I wet the bed till I was like 25. Andrew finally refused to cope with this idiosyncrasy in my personality.
First off, bed wetting is probably not a huge problem for Yuri its that his parents completely forgot the whole ‘don’t give a kid gallon worth of juice before bedtime’ rule…today no liquids after noon. I do wonder if this is in fact why he makes his bed religiously. It might also explain why when he saw me this morning, he climbed back into the bed and pulled up the covers. To spare him embarrassment (and because we don’t know how to communicate that ‘it is ok its just an accident’) we changed both our sheets and his. However, he wanted to make up for the self-inflicted embarrassment by being cute to get attention. The only problem is the things he was doing were not cute, they were quote “bad behavior.” Thus the day starts….
As I was saying, we were trying to pack up for the beach. We then realized the clothes washer had stopped just before the spin cycle. Now the only clothes that fit Yuri…were soaking wet. (Sigh)Clean, but wet. There was our second obstacle of the day. No dryer and no Target. On top of these small problems is the continued stressor of Yuri acting out. To make a long story short, Yuri was misbehaving, not minding and pretending not to understand. Unfortunately for him his actions showed he clearly understood enough to know that when asked if he was sorry, he said “niet.”
Yikes, now we have a problem….. He continued to pout, cry and act ugly when we sent him to his room. Mostly it was just a waiting game. I’m not going to say it was easy—it was not. The only plus side to disciplining a child who doesn’t speak English, is you can discuss how to handle the situation right in front of him. Homefield advantage for us. We eventually had to call Oksana to interpret the instructions, explanations and rules going forward. The bad part was he tried to manipulate Oksana, too. In the end after much waiting a determined Mom and Dad (that’s us) won! Now I know you are sitting there sympathizing with him saying “ahhh the poor kid didn’t get it, give him a break.” But before you do, hear me out… When he was asked in Russian if he was sorry he promptly yelled out ‘niet!’ Finally, after what seemed like hours, a white flag. A tear stained freckled face boy emerged from his room. Papa said, in Russian ‘Is Yuri sorry?’ ‘Da’ he replied. He then told us both in English he was sorry. We then bent down, hugged him, accepted the apology and told him we loved him. It was a bad battle but a good family hug. It ruined our beach plans for the day, but Doctor Phil would have been proud.
Now that its over we are looking forward to the next battle as much as a root canal. Earlier while we were planning our next parental move (three University degrees between us outwitted by a 10 year old Ukrainian) I said to my husband “I wish I could call my Mom or Dad right now.” I then announced “I don’t deserved this I never acted this way”. Andrew smiled said, “I deserved it. Didn’t I tell you about the time Mom carried me out of Rich’s (now Macy’s) over her shoulder screaming for a $5 candy bar?”
“So this is your fault.”
We both laughed. Be careful who you marry. They may be carrying bad karma.
Homesick
We’ve now been out of the country for almost a month and to say that we are a little homesick is like calling Rosy O’Donald a big boned. Now I must confess the first week of our journey was a 4 night vacation in Paris and Amsterdam—it was wonderful, relaxing, fun, and stress free. As many of you know getting around in Western Europe with English only is no real chore. Despite what you hear about the French or the Dutch people could not be kinder if you approach them nicely in English and many of the sings are geared towards helping English speaking travelers.
Stepping onto Ukrainian soil has been a different story altogether. Once outside the airport the only English is on advertisements. Yet, seeing a sign reading “sports good” isn’t all that comforting-though we agree- sports are good. In the Ukraine it is my guess that 1 out of 200 people speak English. I’m including here those that know a few words they learned in school. Otherwise we’ve thus far only met 4 people who spoke English. Its those 1 in 200 however that we find most entertaining. They love to find us and practice—it is amusing. Oksana especially loves it.
Once we were on a bus heading downtown and a guy in his mid 20’s was elated to have stumbled upon us ‘Americanski’s.’ The problem was that he was 2-3 sentences into his speech before we realized he was speaking English. Russian is a very deep spoken language, especially for men, and on top of that it sounded like he had a mouthful of marbles or something. Now I know that it sounds like I’m making fun, ok a little, but I figure the overly sensitive people stopped reading a long time ago. But it wasn’t until Oksana said he is saying “Are you from America?” that we began to decode this strange English dialect. It reminded me of a cockney British mechanic we used to use. I would listen to him for about 2 minutes and understand about 2 things he said. As I would listen I would think, ‘Did he stop speaking English? Oh no, there, he said Volkswagon again and I think ja-ah is Cockney for Jetta.’ As we listened we gathered that he learned English in the University and had never heard of Tennessee, however he has heard of Texas. By the way most all Ukrainians have heard of Texas, it does not matter who you talk to when you say I’m from the United States they get excited and proclaim “Texas!” I’m starting to think they must run Dallas on cable or something… The conversation on the bus with this young guy was hilarious. Andrew had an easier time keeping and straight face or was just more desperate for a conversation with someone other than me. His heartfelt excitement to practice English was touching, but listening to him it was hard not to laugh. Oksana and I both sort of abandoned Andrew and stood watching as bystanders while Andrew used every muscle in his brain to listen and in his face to smile without laughing. It reminded me of a Youtube video my brother in-law Wes showed us. I know some of you know it. Its where this guy has a funny voice and the talk show host ends up laughing in his face. When our new “friend” stepped off of the bus Oksana and I just bust out laughing. She said people love to practice their English, yet she’d never heard English like that before. I’m not sure anyone had. However, now we’ve been here nearly a month if anyone would be as delighted to see talk to us as that young man, I think it may make us a bit less homesick.
Before you go thinking all Ukrainians speak English like our bus friend let me correct you—it is not the case. Although most of them don’t speak much those who try do wonderful with what they know. They know more of our language than we know of theirs—and we have a son fluent in only Russian—yikes!
Overall the Ukrainians are very nice people, quiet and reserved (like Yankees ) but nice. Nevertheless, a month as a foreigner is a long time.
We’ve resisted thinking about the things we miss from home thinking that indulging in such thoughts would only accelerate our need to want to be home. It doesn’t help that the books I’ve brought to read keep talking about eating (American food of course). Like the other day I thought I read that the main character was going to Captain D’s when in reality it said nothing of the sort…strange. I’m not even that big a fan of Captain D’s which makes it even more strange.
The food here is ok. Andrew likes more than me… of course. We found a pizza place that we love and there are even a few people working there that speak a little English. Twice when we were sitting outside people have come up to us and spoke to us—in English! So we love that.
But I didn’t start this blog to talk about Ukrainian food, or English… I merely wanted to express my thoughts of being homesick. I don’t know why it makes me feel better to tell you all—but it does. Today has been my hardest day so far, and for no reason in particular. I’m just homesick, plain and simple. Andrew is too, but I suppose I’m the weakest link. Today I was sitting outside watching Yuri ride his bike—trying to pretend I wasn’t a foreigner for his sake (see previous blog for explanation) and doing a pretty good job until a young guy came by… I suppose I looked like I wanted to talk… He stopped and kept rambling until I finally gave in and said “No Peruski” (No Russian). It didn’t have the low key effect I was looking for because he exclaimed “Ah Americanski!” Next thing I know he keeps trying to talk to me and invites all his friends over, it was stressful and I felt bad for Yuri because he was watching as I tried to smile and shrug to show I didn’t understand. So strike one for me looking like a ‘Normal Mom’ for little Yuri…sigh. Finally I went inside to get Andrew and change shifts, but somehow after letting myself inside instead of asking him to go out and watch Yuri I just started crying. “I want to go home.”
Don’t feel bad for me, I’m fine and even if I weren’t it is all worth it and I would do it all over again. Like I said, just a bad day, a homesick day, that’s all. I miss my family, I miss my Dog Allie and my cat Otis. I miss joking with my friends and knowing what’s going on around me. I miss flipping on the TV to be lectured by Dr. Phil or flipping on the news and hearing the unnessisarily detailed weather report. (Is it going to rain or not?) I miss green grass and clean parks and even driving. I think I’m just about to the point I might even miss green beans! :o (all the Hardin’s and those who know me know how I hate green beens.)…. Emphasis on the word MIGHT. Haha
I will say just putting this into words has already made me feel better. Blogging is a strange thing… somehow knowing you all are reading this and sharing in our experience is very comforting. It means the world to us to read your comments and hear you say you feel a part of our journey. So thank you, thank you for helping me not feel so homesick today and laughing at us and with us and just being interested in what we are doing, we appreciate your support. Keep us in your prayers—2-3 weeks to go.
With love from Russia
Stepping onto Ukrainian soil has been a different story altogether. Once outside the airport the only English is on advertisements. Yet, seeing a sign reading “sports good” isn’t all that comforting-though we agree- sports are good. In the Ukraine it is my guess that 1 out of 200 people speak English. I’m including here those that know a few words they learned in school. Otherwise we’ve thus far only met 4 people who spoke English. Its those 1 in 200 however that we find most entertaining. They love to find us and practice—it is amusing. Oksana especially loves it.
Once we were on a bus heading downtown and a guy in his mid 20’s was elated to have stumbled upon us ‘Americanski’s.’ The problem was that he was 2-3 sentences into his speech before we realized he was speaking English. Russian is a very deep spoken language, especially for men, and on top of that it sounded like he had a mouthful of marbles or something. Now I know that it sounds like I’m making fun, ok a little, but I figure the overly sensitive people stopped reading a long time ago. But it wasn’t until Oksana said he is saying “Are you from America?” that we began to decode this strange English dialect. It reminded me of a cockney British mechanic we used to use. I would listen to him for about 2 minutes and understand about 2 things he said. As I would listen I would think, ‘Did he stop speaking English? Oh no, there, he said Volkswagon again and I think ja-ah is Cockney for Jetta.’ As we listened we gathered that he learned English in the University and had never heard of Tennessee, however he has heard of Texas. By the way most all Ukrainians have heard of Texas, it does not matter who you talk to when you say I’m from the United States they get excited and proclaim “Texas!” I’m starting to think they must run Dallas on cable or something… The conversation on the bus with this young guy was hilarious. Andrew had an easier time keeping and straight face or was just more desperate for a conversation with someone other than me. His heartfelt excitement to practice English was touching, but listening to him it was hard not to laugh. Oksana and I both sort of abandoned Andrew and stood watching as bystanders while Andrew used every muscle in his brain to listen and in his face to smile without laughing. It reminded me of a Youtube video my brother in-law Wes showed us. I know some of you know it. Its where this guy has a funny voice and the talk show host ends up laughing in his face. When our new “friend” stepped off of the bus Oksana and I just bust out laughing. She said people love to practice their English, yet she’d never heard English like that before. I’m not sure anyone had. However, now we’ve been here nearly a month if anyone would be as delighted to see talk to us as that young man, I think it may make us a bit less homesick.
Before you go thinking all Ukrainians speak English like our bus friend let me correct you—it is not the case. Although most of them don’t speak much those who try do wonderful with what they know. They know more of our language than we know of theirs—and we have a son fluent in only Russian—yikes!
Overall the Ukrainians are very nice people, quiet and reserved (like Yankees ) but nice. Nevertheless, a month as a foreigner is a long time.
We’ve resisted thinking about the things we miss from home thinking that indulging in such thoughts would only accelerate our need to want to be home. It doesn’t help that the books I’ve brought to read keep talking about eating (American food of course). Like the other day I thought I read that the main character was going to Captain D’s when in reality it said nothing of the sort…strange. I’m not even that big a fan of Captain D’s which makes it even more strange.
The food here is ok. Andrew likes more than me… of course. We found a pizza place that we love and there are even a few people working there that speak a little English. Twice when we were sitting outside people have come up to us and spoke to us—in English! So we love that.
But I didn’t start this blog to talk about Ukrainian food, or English… I merely wanted to express my thoughts of being homesick. I don’t know why it makes me feel better to tell you all—but it does. Today has been my hardest day so far, and for no reason in particular. I’m just homesick, plain and simple. Andrew is too, but I suppose I’m the weakest link. Today I was sitting outside watching Yuri ride his bike—trying to pretend I wasn’t a foreigner for his sake (see previous blog for explanation) and doing a pretty good job until a young guy came by… I suppose I looked like I wanted to talk… He stopped and kept rambling until I finally gave in and said “No Peruski” (No Russian). It didn’t have the low key effect I was looking for because he exclaimed “Ah Americanski!” Next thing I know he keeps trying to talk to me and invites all his friends over, it was stressful and I felt bad for Yuri because he was watching as I tried to smile and shrug to show I didn’t understand. So strike one for me looking like a ‘Normal Mom’ for little Yuri…sigh. Finally I went inside to get Andrew and change shifts, but somehow after letting myself inside instead of asking him to go out and watch Yuri I just started crying. “I want to go home.”
Don’t feel bad for me, I’m fine and even if I weren’t it is all worth it and I would do it all over again. Like I said, just a bad day, a homesick day, that’s all. I miss my family, I miss my Dog Allie and my cat Otis. I miss joking with my friends and knowing what’s going on around me. I miss flipping on the TV to be lectured by Dr. Phil or flipping on the news and hearing the unnessisarily detailed weather report. (Is it going to rain or not?) I miss green grass and clean parks and even driving. I think I’m just about to the point I might even miss green beans! :o (all the Hardin’s and those who know me know how I hate green beens.)…. Emphasis on the word MIGHT. Haha
I will say just putting this into words has already made me feel better. Blogging is a strange thing… somehow knowing you all are reading this and sharing in our experience is very comforting. It means the world to us to read your comments and hear you say you feel a part of our journey. So thank you, thank you for helping me not feel so homesick today and laughing at us and with us and just being interested in what we are doing, we appreciate your support. Keep us in your prayers—2-3 weeks to go.
With love from Russia
The Black Sea
Today we are headed out to the beach or as they say here, the sea. I can’t pronounce or even write the name of the place we are staying—but it is just outside of a town called Yalta. The journey was going well until they cashier told us that we were at the bus station only and we needed to be at the bus/train station—ah geez. So after Oksana talked the ticketing agent into selling us tickets anyway via cell phone at the other station. We ran bus tickets in hand to hop the next 104 back to the bus/train station we had past up on the way to the bus station. Yes its that confusing. Our bus was departing at 12:15, current time 11:30. This shouldn’t be too difficult. Oh contraire, contraire (I’m laughing even while writing this). You see it should have been a breeze however we accidently caught #104 going the wrong way. To go back to the bus/train station we needed to go under the street to the otherside. Of course it took us a while to realize this. As if through a portal of some kind we were suddenly in the countryside, beautiful hills and homes. It was the Brentwood of Simferopol just no chic-fil-a. We made up our mind to exit when we saw another #104’s heading the opposite way—the right way. The only problem is we were now in the middle of no where. (It’s a short drive in the Ukraine) Nevertheless we hopped off the bus and stood on the side of the dirt road, vast hills and tatar huts all around. Up the hill facing us were all the beautiful homes, and ta-tar huts, with goats and cows and sheep. Behind was a small village were locals were coming up the street to stand with us in the middle of no where. Hey at least with them standing here we know we are at a bus stop. Finally at 11.50 the bus came and we jumped on, headed in the right direction back to the bus station in hopes of getting to the train station by 12.15. In theory this should have worked but our bus stopped at least 10 times and by the time we were back to the bus station it was a little after 12. Fifteen minutes to go…do we stay with the bus or jump off and take a taxi….hmmm. Taxi! Travel tip: never tell a Ukrainian bus driver you need to be across town to catch a bus in less than 15 minutes unless they have 4-point seat belts and a crash cage. They take their job very seriously. In less than 15 minutes and 5 near head on collisions later we were at the bus/train station with 1 minutes to spare. Andrew ran ahead, then me, with Yuri in hand. Andrew managed to hook and land the correct bus and at 12:16 still huffing and puffing from the run, we were seated as the bus pulled out. Mission accomplished!
The ride to Yalta was beautiful. It was windy, hilly and along the mountains with glimpses of the sea at every few turns. Needless to say we were very excited. Oksana had spoken to the driver via cell phone when we got on the bus because our bus didn’t go to the ocean lodge so the driver would need to put us out on the side of the road where we could hail a taxi down the mountainside to the lodge. Somewhere in the trip however I noticed that they person she had told all this too was no the person driving our bus, weird. Easy fix, I dialed Oksana and handed the new driver the phone. After about another hours worth of winding roads the bus stopped and the driver motioned us off the bus. Hmm… imagine being dropped off on the side of I-65 and looking to hail a taxi. But wait there was a Lada (a soviet car) sitting under tree with the doors open and the driver was asleep or passed out in the driver seat. That’s definitely a Ukrainian taxi and he was not passed out just relaxing.
Within 5 minutes we were in the taxi headed to the hotel. It was really fun. Had we not been accustomed to Ukrainian accommodations, we may not have enjoyed it as much… but all things considered it was nice. It was like camping meets the ocean. Both are things Andrew and I enjoy but don’t come in a combo very much in the states. We stayed in little cabins reminding me of the movie “parent trap” the newer one with Lindasy Lohan. The showers and restrooms were outside like at any campground and there was a cafeteria for meals. I ended up really enjoying myself despite my doubts at first… This of course was Andrew’s dream spot—camping… at the beach! Who could ask for more…although even he wished the restrooms where nicer. The beaches were beautiful, although nothing like the ones in America. They were rocky with pebbles instead of sand. At first the substitution of rocks for sand brought mixed reviews from the peanut gallery (andrew and me) but eventually we both decided we actually preferred rocks in out back to sand in our crack.
The ride to Yalta was beautiful. It was windy, hilly and along the mountains with glimpses of the sea at every few turns. Needless to say we were very excited. Oksana had spoken to the driver via cell phone when we got on the bus because our bus didn’t go to the ocean lodge so the driver would need to put us out on the side of the road where we could hail a taxi down the mountainside to the lodge. Somewhere in the trip however I noticed that they person she had told all this too was no the person driving our bus, weird. Easy fix, I dialed Oksana and handed the new driver the phone. After about another hours worth of winding roads the bus stopped and the driver motioned us off the bus. Hmm… imagine being dropped off on the side of I-65 and looking to hail a taxi. But wait there was a Lada (a soviet car) sitting under tree with the doors open and the driver was asleep or passed out in the driver seat. That’s definitely a Ukrainian taxi and he was not passed out just relaxing.
Within 5 minutes we were in the taxi headed to the hotel. It was really fun. Had we not been accustomed to Ukrainian accommodations, we may not have enjoyed it as much… but all things considered it was nice. It was like camping meets the ocean. Both are things Andrew and I enjoy but don’t come in a combo very much in the states. We stayed in little cabins reminding me of the movie “parent trap” the newer one with Lindasy Lohan. The showers and restrooms were outside like at any campground and there was a cafeteria for meals. I ended up really enjoying myself despite my doubts at first… This of course was Andrew’s dream spot—camping… at the beach! Who could ask for more…although even he wished the restrooms where nicer. The beaches were beautiful, although nothing like the ones in America. They were rocky with pebbles instead of sand. At first the substitution of rocks for sand brought mixed reviews from the peanut gallery (andrew and me) but eventually we both decided we actually preferred rocks in out back to sand in our crack.
Called to Jonquoy
Now I know what the title suggests. Hold on a minute!… I am not called to Jonquoy, these are merely my thoughts on those people Christian, humanitarian, Peace Corp or otherwise would be ‘called’ to Jonquoy (and if anyone is with my Mother right now can you make sure she’s still breathing)? Have cleared that up… Jonquoy is where we have been journeying to and from every morning and every night for 7 days. To see Yuri we were taking a bus daily from Simferopal to Jonquoy, a miserably hot and stuffy 2hr commute each way—unless the driver feels like stopping for peaches on the side of the road while we sit in the 250 degree bus (and that’s in Celius) which is all too common.
I must be honest if God called me to Jonquoy I would have to say “Niet!” (That’s ‘no’ in Russian). Hey, you can judge but I didn’t see you there for the past 7 days. To be candid. I am Jonah or maybe even a tougher version of Jonah because it would take more than three days in a fish to break me and I hate the smell of fish. What a wimp!
No that I’m an expert on Ninevah but I’m sure it was a pretty foul place for Jonah to despise it the way he did. Like Ninevah, Jonquoy is considered to be the pitts and not only by me. No one in Simferopel has anything nice to say about Jonquoy, nor do the fine people of Jonquoy. One day we were in line at the bus station waiting to buy tickets and a taxi driver was walking around trying to talk us into a ride that was four times the price. Niet, homeboy. (Taxi drivers in the Ukraine are there own breed. They are funny. Think, Italian Yankees. Seriously, gold chains, loud, obnoxious, everything. They are always goofing on each other. Somehow they make us feel at home.) One day a driver asked Oksana where we were going and she smiled and said sarcastically “the most popular place in Ukraine” to which he immediately nodded replying “Ah, Jonquoy.” Smiles all around, man even the taxis don’t want to go there.
If you ask a local where to eat in Jonquoy they just look at you with a blank stare and shake their heads. Is it really that bad? No suggestions? I think they all brown bag it. We learned this after we’d already eaten at the same café 2 days in a row. The only one we could find mind you. The director at the orphanage looked completely disgusted when we told her we’d been eating there. To which I replied “Oh well when in Jonquoy…” It was at that moment we taught Oksana the idiom ‘When in Rome…” You know the rest.
Jonquoy is dead; really, the streets would be empty were it not for the all too familiar drunks roaming around, beer in hand, before noon. The market ends at 1pm sharp if they feel like working late. The sidewalks are in dire need of repair, houses are sad and the park is even more depressing. We went there our first day in hopes of finding a good place to take Yuri during our visits, only to find even little Yuri knew the park was “terrible” (his words). The swing sets have been reduced to nothing but chains hanging on a rusted out pole. The benches are all missing the actual ‘bench’ and are nothing more than the broken remnants of a benchs that were at one time undoubtedly painted Ukrainian blue (they love that color). There was a huge metal cage that was boarded up. We recognized it as a run down bumper car arena once bustling during the Soviet era.
As I looked around I saw something that was once a beautiful park now only beautiful in my imagination. When seen with a little love it takes on a whole new look… I can see where the castle style slide used to have bricks painted on the siding and how the grass which now lay uncut like hay was most likely a neatly manicured bright shade of green. I imagine the folks of Jonquoy used to enjoy this place. I can see them strolling the sidewalks (before they were a hazard) children in tow and laughing carrying sodas instead of the new beverages of choice-- vodka and beer. From the looks of it this park it was at one time well- kept and well-enjoyed. And I also imagine that Jonquoy was at one time more than just a desolate town that started up at 9am and closed up at 1pm. More than just a string of half empty buildings and drunken patrons. At one time Jonquoy attracted citizens with jobs at the cement factory. Judging from the sidewalks in the Ukraine the demand for cement diminished with the decrescendo of the soviet empire. I have no clue when the factory closed down, but apparently when it did those who could shaped up and shipped out leaving a tidy train station. And like all Ukrainian bus and train stations Jonquoy’s stop serves as a sort of bait and switch to would be tourist.
In reality, deep down I am saddened by Jonquoy far more than I am afraid of living in it. Like all things we take the time to loath I care for it more than those one hundred thousand towns I take no time to think about at all. Although I still claim the ‘Jonas’ attitude (I know, I know, I’m an awful person…blah). It’s just sad. I noticed everyday on our way from the orphanage back to the train station there is one tidy building. Its finished with a cocoa colored stucco. It is 2 stories, well kept, with gleaming white trim. There is a poster, no a banner, on the front with men in uniforms and little children all smiling (they must have taken that picture in Simferopal, because I’ve yet to see a local smile). Each day I wonder what the building is and make a mental note to ask Oksana, and virtually each day I forget. It is by far the nicest building in all of Jonquoy, in fact it is so nice and out of place that if the right people were around it could server as a start—a start to nicer buildings, not nicer in the sense of more expensive or flashy—just cared for. Could it just take one or two people to inspire the rest? I wonder if like the dilapidated buildings the spirit of Jonquoy is crumbling. I later found out my favorite building was the police headquarters. Too bad that even in the midst of this ragged, tired town, there isn’t a church with a beautiful steeple-one that seems to reach to the sky. Or people who seemed to do the same would it change things? I don’t know, I would say yes. I guess that’s why in the end ‘ol Jonah gave up and went to Ninevah (way to go Jonah). I guess God got through to him and really softened his heart because just like Ninevah needs hope, so does Jonquoy.
I am shocked at the soft spot God’s formed in my heart for Jonquoy…really, I am. That being said, I still don’t want to go live there and even as I write this I’m silently praying God doesn’t play a little joke and test me—surely I was there long enough…. (Can someone call my Memaw and ask her to pray, I want to stay in America, I don’t know that I want to ever leave Donelson after this trip!)
I will say this—the director and the social workers, the judge and all those working with Oksana on our adoption in Jonquoy were amazing. The orphanage there needs work, but the workers couldn’t have been better to our son. It is clear they care for those kids. I could tell by the big lipstick kisses left on Yuri’s cheeks when we left Jonquoy that he was loved there and I love them for that. It’s amazing how selfless people can be without even realizing it isn’t it? Pray for Jonquoy and pray for whomever God is calling… and, back to my weaker side…pray it’s not me.
With love, from…Jonquoy.
[PS: A few days later I saw this sticker on a bus stop that said something in Russian with smiling faces at each corner. It was a promotion for a local church and the words were testimonies from each person. Each one was different but the gist was this… Though this church people who were in the middle of a divorce where finding reconciliation, alcoholics were finding sobriety, and those who nearly left their children parentless found family. We later saw the church members at the bus station and after having been nearly robbed by gypsies we saw two church folks respectfully and kindly smiling and handing out the same flyer. Thanks for your prayer Meemaw I knew you and God were tight.
I must be honest if God called me to Jonquoy I would have to say “Niet!” (That’s ‘no’ in Russian). Hey, you can judge but I didn’t see you there for the past 7 days. To be candid. I am Jonah or maybe even a tougher version of Jonah because it would take more than three days in a fish to break me and I hate the smell of fish. What a wimp!
No that I’m an expert on Ninevah but I’m sure it was a pretty foul place for Jonah to despise it the way he did. Like Ninevah, Jonquoy is considered to be the pitts and not only by me. No one in Simferopel has anything nice to say about Jonquoy, nor do the fine people of Jonquoy. One day we were in line at the bus station waiting to buy tickets and a taxi driver was walking around trying to talk us into a ride that was four times the price. Niet, homeboy. (Taxi drivers in the Ukraine are there own breed. They are funny. Think, Italian Yankees. Seriously, gold chains, loud, obnoxious, everything. They are always goofing on each other. Somehow they make us feel at home.) One day a driver asked Oksana where we were going and she smiled and said sarcastically “the most popular place in Ukraine” to which he immediately nodded replying “Ah, Jonquoy.” Smiles all around, man even the taxis don’t want to go there.
If you ask a local where to eat in Jonquoy they just look at you with a blank stare and shake their heads. Is it really that bad? No suggestions? I think they all brown bag it. We learned this after we’d already eaten at the same café 2 days in a row. The only one we could find mind you. The director at the orphanage looked completely disgusted when we told her we’d been eating there. To which I replied “Oh well when in Jonquoy…” It was at that moment we taught Oksana the idiom ‘When in Rome…” You know the rest.
Jonquoy is dead; really, the streets would be empty were it not for the all too familiar drunks roaming around, beer in hand, before noon. The market ends at 1pm sharp if they feel like working late. The sidewalks are in dire need of repair, houses are sad and the park is even more depressing. We went there our first day in hopes of finding a good place to take Yuri during our visits, only to find even little Yuri knew the park was “terrible” (his words). The swing sets have been reduced to nothing but chains hanging on a rusted out pole. The benches are all missing the actual ‘bench’ and are nothing more than the broken remnants of a benchs that were at one time undoubtedly painted Ukrainian blue (they love that color). There was a huge metal cage that was boarded up. We recognized it as a run down bumper car arena once bustling during the Soviet era.
As I looked around I saw something that was once a beautiful park now only beautiful in my imagination. When seen with a little love it takes on a whole new look… I can see where the castle style slide used to have bricks painted on the siding and how the grass which now lay uncut like hay was most likely a neatly manicured bright shade of green. I imagine the folks of Jonquoy used to enjoy this place. I can see them strolling the sidewalks (before they were a hazard) children in tow and laughing carrying sodas instead of the new beverages of choice-- vodka and beer. From the looks of it this park it was at one time well- kept and well-enjoyed. And I also imagine that Jonquoy was at one time more than just a desolate town that started up at 9am and closed up at 1pm. More than just a string of half empty buildings and drunken patrons. At one time Jonquoy attracted citizens with jobs at the cement factory. Judging from the sidewalks in the Ukraine the demand for cement diminished with the decrescendo of the soviet empire. I have no clue when the factory closed down, but apparently when it did those who could shaped up and shipped out leaving a tidy train station. And like all Ukrainian bus and train stations Jonquoy’s stop serves as a sort of bait and switch to would be tourist.
In reality, deep down I am saddened by Jonquoy far more than I am afraid of living in it. Like all things we take the time to loath I care for it more than those one hundred thousand towns I take no time to think about at all. Although I still claim the ‘Jonas’ attitude (I know, I know, I’m an awful person…blah). It’s just sad. I noticed everyday on our way from the orphanage back to the train station there is one tidy building. Its finished with a cocoa colored stucco. It is 2 stories, well kept, with gleaming white trim. There is a poster, no a banner, on the front with men in uniforms and little children all smiling (they must have taken that picture in Simferopal, because I’ve yet to see a local smile). Each day I wonder what the building is and make a mental note to ask Oksana, and virtually each day I forget. It is by far the nicest building in all of Jonquoy, in fact it is so nice and out of place that if the right people were around it could server as a start—a start to nicer buildings, not nicer in the sense of more expensive or flashy—just cared for. Could it just take one or two people to inspire the rest? I wonder if like the dilapidated buildings the spirit of Jonquoy is crumbling. I later found out my favorite building was the police headquarters. Too bad that even in the midst of this ragged, tired town, there isn’t a church with a beautiful steeple-one that seems to reach to the sky. Or people who seemed to do the same would it change things? I don’t know, I would say yes. I guess that’s why in the end ‘ol Jonah gave up and went to Ninevah (way to go Jonah). I guess God got through to him and really softened his heart because just like Ninevah needs hope, so does Jonquoy.
I am shocked at the soft spot God’s formed in my heart for Jonquoy…really, I am. That being said, I still don’t want to go live there and even as I write this I’m silently praying God doesn’t play a little joke and test me—surely I was there long enough…. (Can someone call my Memaw and ask her to pray, I want to stay in America, I don’t know that I want to ever leave Donelson after this trip!)
I will say this—the director and the social workers, the judge and all those working with Oksana on our adoption in Jonquoy were amazing. The orphanage there needs work, but the workers couldn’t have been better to our son. It is clear they care for those kids. I could tell by the big lipstick kisses left on Yuri’s cheeks when we left Jonquoy that he was loved there and I love them for that. It’s amazing how selfless people can be without even realizing it isn’t it? Pray for Jonquoy and pray for whomever God is calling… and, back to my weaker side…pray it’s not me.
With love, from…Jonquoy.
[PS: A few days later I saw this sticker on a bus stop that said something in Russian with smiling faces at each corner. It was a promotion for a local church and the words were testimonies from each person. Each one was different but the gist was this… Though this church people who were in the middle of a divorce where finding reconciliation, alcoholics were finding sobriety, and those who nearly left their children parentless found family. We later saw the church members at the bus station and after having been nearly robbed by gypsies we saw two church folks respectfully and kindly smiling and handing out the same flyer. Thanks for your prayer Meemaw I knew you and God were tight.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Court
Today was the big day in Jonquoy—court. Our court time was 1pm and Andrew and I seem to be the only ones worried that we might be late. Ukrainians tend to take things at their own pace. I’m guessing that 1pm was more of a suggestion than a command—with 15 minutes to go and we were still walking around the orphanage waiting on our social worker who appears to be a bundle of nerves. Even Oksana was a bit frustrated at our departure —this is a shocker as she walks at a glacial pace on a daily basis.
For the past week or so since we’ve been in the Ukraine we have been staying in Simferopal and traveling by bus to Jonquoy to see Yuri on a daily basis. Yuri can’t stay with us until after the court date and that is only if the orphanage directors will allow it. In case you missed the part about how much we love Jonquoy…we are not fans.
We made it to court 2 minutes before our scheduled appearance and not to anyone but Andrew and my own surprise—they are still on lunch break…oh well, at least we aren’t late. The director has already given us permission to take Yuri with us to Simferopal after court during the 10 day waiting period. Yuri was elated and we realized something good had happened after we signed a paper and he gave a punch in the air and took off running like crazy to get what little he had. He and Andrew and I lugged 2 backpacks half full and the bike we’d just bought him from the orphanage to the courthouse. Not counting the stuff we had given him everything he owned was on his body or filled a small backpack halfway full. Most of the things he had were from us and the others worn and old. I must add we bought him a kickin back pack—he looks so cute—people stop to smile at him, seriously they do—I know they are saying how cute he looks. We dress him like a little American and he loves it.
Back to court….. The walls inside the court are Ukrainian Blue—big surprise, trimmed with white. There are no lights on. The Ukraians are not big on wasting electricity---everyone works in the dark, its enough to drive an American insane. Still, it is strange to be in a court room with the only lighting streaming in from the windows.
The court room is small, about 10 benches, a podium in the center and a long table in front with a chair on either side of the judge a cage, yes a metal cage to the right. I kept waiting for barney fife to stroll in. The process as best as we could understand seemed much like an American court hearing. Even as the judge proceeded into the court room we all stood until we were asked to sit by his assistant. Aside from the lighting and lack of up keep…except for the cage to our right it felt pretty normal.
Court lasted about 15 minutes, maybe 2o. We got a good judge. I would love to give you a minute by minute rundown but unfortunately Oksana is better at being a facilitator than a translator. For most of the time we sat there smiling like fools hoping we looked like good trusting parents. We didn’t have a clue what was going on. We’d ask Oksana but in typical Oksana style she’d fade away mid translation… so we gave up. Basically they asked about us, our names, ages…blah.. the biggest question from the judge was as to why we didn’t have our own biological children or babies as he said—we are at a ripe age. I told him my Mother wonders the same thing, until she learned of us planning to adopt Yuri. There’s nothing like adoption to silence the grievances of a grandchild hungary parent. We politely explained that we plan on having children, but once we met Yuri we fell in love and wanted to wait until we had him. He seemed baffled but accepted this answer.
They also asked Yuri a couple questions, he seemed nervous. He said he did want to go to America and talked about meeting us and also added something about Babushka (which is Grandmother in Russian). We later found out he told the judge about meeting Babushka (My Mom) and having his photo with her. He told the judge “Babushka is good, I love her.” It was really cute. Finally he smiled and seemed satisfied and said “Take this citizen of the Ukraine to far America” (Oksana translated that part not sure if she could sense our anxiety or just remembered we couldn’t understand a word!!) The translation was no sooner off of her lips when Yuri ran to Andrew and hugged him. I’ll never forget it. Andrew had tears streaming from his face and it looked as if 100 pounds had floated off his shoulders. We stood with Yuri in our arms, smiling, relieved and hugged. “We made it, we finally made it.”
Now we just wait and pray we slip through the 10 day appeals period with no complaints from family. So far so good.
For the past week or so since we’ve been in the Ukraine we have been staying in Simferopal and traveling by bus to Jonquoy to see Yuri on a daily basis. Yuri can’t stay with us until after the court date and that is only if the orphanage directors will allow it. In case you missed the part about how much we love Jonquoy…we are not fans.
We made it to court 2 minutes before our scheduled appearance and not to anyone but Andrew and my own surprise—they are still on lunch break…oh well, at least we aren’t late. The director has already given us permission to take Yuri with us to Simferopal after court during the 10 day waiting period. Yuri was elated and we realized something good had happened after we signed a paper and he gave a punch in the air and took off running like crazy to get what little he had. He and Andrew and I lugged 2 backpacks half full and the bike we’d just bought him from the orphanage to the courthouse. Not counting the stuff we had given him everything he owned was on his body or filled a small backpack halfway full. Most of the things he had were from us and the others worn and old. I must add we bought him a kickin back pack—he looks so cute—people stop to smile at him, seriously they do—I know they are saying how cute he looks. We dress him like a little American and he loves it.
Back to court….. The walls inside the court are Ukrainian Blue—big surprise, trimmed with white. There are no lights on. The Ukraians are not big on wasting electricity---everyone works in the dark, its enough to drive an American insane. Still, it is strange to be in a court room with the only lighting streaming in from the windows.
The court room is small, about 10 benches, a podium in the center and a long table in front with a chair on either side of the judge a cage, yes a metal cage to the right. I kept waiting for barney fife to stroll in. The process as best as we could understand seemed much like an American court hearing. Even as the judge proceeded into the court room we all stood until we were asked to sit by his assistant. Aside from the lighting and lack of up keep…except for the cage to our right it felt pretty normal.
Court lasted about 15 minutes, maybe 2o. We got a good judge. I would love to give you a minute by minute rundown but unfortunately Oksana is better at being a facilitator than a translator. For most of the time we sat there smiling like fools hoping we looked like good trusting parents. We didn’t have a clue what was going on. We’d ask Oksana but in typical Oksana style she’d fade away mid translation… so we gave up. Basically they asked about us, our names, ages…blah.. the biggest question from the judge was as to why we didn’t have our own biological children or babies as he said—we are at a ripe age. I told him my Mother wonders the same thing, until she learned of us planning to adopt Yuri. There’s nothing like adoption to silence the grievances of a grandchild hungary parent. We politely explained that we plan on having children, but once we met Yuri we fell in love and wanted to wait until we had him. He seemed baffled but accepted this answer.
They also asked Yuri a couple questions, he seemed nervous. He said he did want to go to America and talked about meeting us and also added something about Babushka (which is Grandmother in Russian). We later found out he told the judge about meeting Babushka (My Mom) and having his photo with her. He told the judge “Babushka is good, I love her.” It was really cute. Finally he smiled and seemed satisfied and said “Take this citizen of the Ukraine to far America” (Oksana translated that part not sure if she could sense our anxiety or just remembered we couldn’t understand a word!!) The translation was no sooner off of her lips when Yuri ran to Andrew and hugged him. I’ll never forget it. Andrew had tears streaming from his face and it looked as if 100 pounds had floated off his shoulders. We stood with Yuri in our arms, smiling, relieved and hugged. “We made it, we finally made it.”
Now we just wait and pray we slip through the 10 day appeals period with no complaints from family. So far so good.
Lunchtime
So far our favorite spot for lunch is a cafeteria called “Lunchtime.” I think initially we only ate there because we could in fact pronounce it on our own. Then we decided we like it because it was the only place we could pronounce and point to the food we wanted without looking foolish when ordering without our translator. I of course also like it because, well to be honest, I get to see the food before I order it. Yeah, so what—I’m picky. Trust me, if you were in a foreign country you’d want to know what in the world was in your soup too—so back off. :P
Oh and also—the bathrooms are great. Yeah, I hear ya laughing but you haven’t seen the bathrooms here. Just to sum it up picture no running water in most of them, no toilet seat (not that I’d even sit on it, but still an option would be nice) and no toilet paper—you gots ta bring your own roll to these places. It’s a scary, scary feeling. Anyone else know the song “stranded” (you know “stranded on a toilet bowl…blah blah without a toilet roll? Well that is most of the bathrooms in Ukraine, except add a fowl smell). So again, we love the restrooms at Lunchtime You would too. Now go be thankful for your ‘ultra soft charmin’ and cozy bathrooms.
Despite lunchtime being our favorite spot…. Today was our best lunch ever. No it wasn’t the waitress who didn’t write down our order and tried to bring us 4 bowls of borsche that we didn’t order (honestly, I would of taken them because I don’t want her mad and spitting in our food… but Oksana isn’t so scared) or the fact that even though we were there yesterday and tipped she acted as though she’d never seen us… And really? Do you really have that many American’s pass through these parts of Jonquoe (in America this town would be without a Wal-Mart, McDonad’s and stoplight)? Nevertheless, the food is actually quite good. We had to request a menu seeing as whether or not the restaurant has a name is still up for debate and 2 days before at lunch in Johnquoe we were robbed when paying the bill. Don’t ask me how but they had no menu and no pricing we later found out—the bill was insane… I get the term ‘highway robbery’ now—this place was indeed on the highway and for what we got—it was robbery. For all I know it could have been the name. I think Oksana was having an ‘off’ day when picking it. .. Oh well… I digress…..
Why you ask was lunch so great? Yuri really talked today—really talked. No we didn’t understand it until Oksana translated but we could see the emotion and the feelings when he spoke—especially once it was translated. Needless to say it was a good talk, and it opened up a new side to little ol’ yurimatic as we like to call him.
At lunch after guzzling his whole drink before the meal even came—no worries Yuri, I’d love sacrifice mine (hehe) Yuri asked about our upcoming court date on Monday. He asked if his “old parents” would be there. We probably shouldn’t find this so endearing but who could resist? He already calls us Mom and Dad and never another name—it is heart melting, it really is. Oksana told him no and asked him if he wanted them to be there? He quickly informed her no he didn’t want them there he was glad they wouldn’t be there—he meant it to0 (strong feelings do not need translation, we could see it on his face). We then mustered the courage to have her ask him if he was at all sad about the situation with his family and all. And let me just tell you this was hard and we weren’t sure we even wanted to ask…. But at the same time we don’t want him to ever resent us for taking him away… Either way, Oksana asked him about it and his reply was direct to say the least. As he rattled off Russian like a pro we could feel the ‘personality,’ shall we say for lack of a better word, in his voice. He informed her that his brothers and sisters promised him for 3 years that they would come to get him, and they never did. As he spoke his brow furrowed and his hazel eyes welled up with tears out of painful intensity and not out of sorrow. His tears ever quite reaching his cheeks and it was only a second before they were gone and he was reaching for his next bite. About that time he made eye contact with Andrew who during this painful conversation had been squeezing his shoulders and rubbing his little neck. Upon meeting his gaze he laid down his fork and reached over to hug his Dad, smiling as though everything was right in the world. And I guess for him, right now it is. Serenading this moment was Oksana’s soft voice bluntly stating to Yuri that his brothers and sisters had never even started the process, nor where they really doing anything now. Yuri didn’t seem the least bit surprised. Which leads us to wonder, how much life experience is crammed in his little 10yr old brain? We had Oksana tell him that it is ok to be sad and if you are now or ever are that we understand and it’s ok—you don’t have to pretend to be happy. He then replied quite easily that he doesn’t pretend—he’s just not sad. And that was that. This kid has a mind of his own and he knows what he wants.
I will say it hurts me for him that he went through such a time at such a young age. He’s only 10 and has already felt the sting of betrayal as I would imagine. It amazes me that he is so optimistic and has such a happy go lucky and trusting attitude…did I mention he can walk on water…kidding, kidding.. he’s still learning :o (what?! It’s a joke…sheesh). Really though, he’s a great kid—amazing. We told him today that we’ve been trying to get back to him since we left the first time. He grinned from ear to ear (then finished off my drink… no worries I don’t need a drink kiddo). I asked if he always thought we’d come back and he replied quite confidently Yes. Yes he did.
So there you have it, our prayers were answered. You can ask anyone close to us or read the journal I kept in the process of this adoption—I prayed that somehow God would let him know. That God would give him a peace that passes all understanding and it looks like He did just that. Just like a confused human to go being surprised that God did what was asked. If I’ve learned nothing else in this process it is patience and trust. Trust in God, trust in translators who speak no English, trust in random cab drivers and trust in a little boy with features strikingly similar to his new Fathers. Trust in the fact that God is always on time…just not on our time.
Today walking back to the orphanage Yuri looked up at us in his new clothes and shoes…saddled with his new ‘big boy’ back pack loaded with treats and said through the translator “Today was a good day.” As he took our hands and turned the corner we knew he was in fact right… today was a good day.
Oh and also—the bathrooms are great. Yeah, I hear ya laughing but you haven’t seen the bathrooms here. Just to sum it up picture no running water in most of them, no toilet seat (not that I’d even sit on it, but still an option would be nice) and no toilet paper—you gots ta bring your own roll to these places. It’s a scary, scary feeling. Anyone else know the song “stranded” (you know “stranded on a toilet bowl…blah blah without a toilet roll? Well that is most of the bathrooms in Ukraine, except add a fowl smell). So again, we love the restrooms at Lunchtime You would too. Now go be thankful for your ‘ultra soft charmin’ and cozy bathrooms.
Despite lunchtime being our favorite spot…. Today was our best lunch ever. No it wasn’t the waitress who didn’t write down our order and tried to bring us 4 bowls of borsche that we didn’t order (honestly, I would of taken them because I don’t want her mad and spitting in our food… but Oksana isn’t so scared) or the fact that even though we were there yesterday and tipped she acted as though she’d never seen us… And really? Do you really have that many American’s pass through these parts of Jonquoe (in America this town would be without a Wal-Mart, McDonad’s and stoplight)? Nevertheless, the food is actually quite good. We had to request a menu seeing as whether or not the restaurant has a name is still up for debate and 2 days before at lunch in Johnquoe we were robbed when paying the bill. Don’t ask me how but they had no menu and no pricing we later found out—the bill was insane… I get the term ‘highway robbery’ now—this place was indeed on the highway and for what we got—it was robbery. For all I know it could have been the name. I think Oksana was having an ‘off’ day when picking it. .. Oh well… I digress…..
Why you ask was lunch so great? Yuri really talked today—really talked. No we didn’t understand it until Oksana translated but we could see the emotion and the feelings when he spoke—especially once it was translated. Needless to say it was a good talk, and it opened up a new side to little ol’ yurimatic as we like to call him.
At lunch after guzzling his whole drink before the meal even came—no worries Yuri, I’d love sacrifice mine (hehe) Yuri asked about our upcoming court date on Monday. He asked if his “old parents” would be there. We probably shouldn’t find this so endearing but who could resist? He already calls us Mom and Dad and never another name—it is heart melting, it really is. Oksana told him no and asked him if he wanted them to be there? He quickly informed her no he didn’t want them there he was glad they wouldn’t be there—he meant it to0 (strong feelings do not need translation, we could see it on his face). We then mustered the courage to have her ask him if he was at all sad about the situation with his family and all. And let me just tell you this was hard and we weren’t sure we even wanted to ask…. But at the same time we don’t want him to ever resent us for taking him away… Either way, Oksana asked him about it and his reply was direct to say the least. As he rattled off Russian like a pro we could feel the ‘personality,’ shall we say for lack of a better word, in his voice. He informed her that his brothers and sisters promised him for 3 years that they would come to get him, and they never did. As he spoke his brow furrowed and his hazel eyes welled up with tears out of painful intensity and not out of sorrow. His tears ever quite reaching his cheeks and it was only a second before they were gone and he was reaching for his next bite. About that time he made eye contact with Andrew who during this painful conversation had been squeezing his shoulders and rubbing his little neck. Upon meeting his gaze he laid down his fork and reached over to hug his Dad, smiling as though everything was right in the world. And I guess for him, right now it is. Serenading this moment was Oksana’s soft voice bluntly stating to Yuri that his brothers and sisters had never even started the process, nor where they really doing anything now. Yuri didn’t seem the least bit surprised. Which leads us to wonder, how much life experience is crammed in his little 10yr old brain? We had Oksana tell him that it is ok to be sad and if you are now or ever are that we understand and it’s ok—you don’t have to pretend to be happy. He then replied quite easily that he doesn’t pretend—he’s just not sad. And that was that. This kid has a mind of his own and he knows what he wants.
I will say it hurts me for him that he went through such a time at such a young age. He’s only 10 and has already felt the sting of betrayal as I would imagine. It amazes me that he is so optimistic and has such a happy go lucky and trusting attitude…did I mention he can walk on water…kidding, kidding.. he’s still learning :o (what?! It’s a joke…sheesh). Really though, he’s a great kid—amazing. We told him today that we’ve been trying to get back to him since we left the first time. He grinned from ear to ear (then finished off my drink… no worries I don’t need a drink kiddo). I asked if he always thought we’d come back and he replied quite confidently Yes. Yes he did.
So there you have it, our prayers were answered. You can ask anyone close to us or read the journal I kept in the process of this adoption—I prayed that somehow God would let him know. That God would give him a peace that passes all understanding and it looks like He did just that. Just like a confused human to go being surprised that God did what was asked. If I’ve learned nothing else in this process it is patience and trust. Trust in God, trust in translators who speak no English, trust in random cab drivers and trust in a little boy with features strikingly similar to his new Fathers. Trust in the fact that God is always on time…just not on our time.
Today walking back to the orphanage Yuri looked up at us in his new clothes and shoes…saddled with his new ‘big boy’ back pack loaded with treats and said through the translator “Today was a good day.” As he took our hands and turned the corner we knew he was in fact right… today was a good day.
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