"Mom Guilt"

"Mom Guilt". Someone should tell all new Moms @ the extreme amount of guilt they will feel upon entering Motherhood. Guilt over any and everything at any given time. This was a surprise to me. I mean I expected a little but all the time? Something must be wrong with me. Here's a nice little example to show u how nutso I can be. I told Andy we would try to go to the library after VBS today. What I didn't think @ is the reality that we don't have time today. See I take little trips to the Magical Kingdom-mom version. Where I am super Mom and can do all things with no time constraints. I invent these super fab agendas in my head and bc in the magic kingdom they work I am comletely devasted when I am back in the real world and can't fit it all in. Luckily I don't divulge all my "splendid" plans with Andy, otherwise he'd not only be stressed but also dissapointed. So here I sit feeling like a failure bc not only can we not go to the library (which he only wants to go bc I'm making him read lol) but I also couldn't pick him up so he's riding with the neighbor and her kids bc I had to do some work. *sigh* the part that makes me nut is that he is best friends with the neighbors and they are like family. And, in fact she usually picks them up. In reality as I am drowning in my guilt the rational part of me knows he would rather be wherever the boys are. So if they r with her that's where he wants to be. If they r with me, that's where he wants to be. I know all this so why am I still feeling like a loser? Good question. No one can seem to ease it. Well, that's not true, I only tqalked to andrew as he worked and he wa super busy so he just looked at me as I half talked and half thought and trying to help smiled saying "its ok.". Ok? No I need more than that-so, I call the mom help hotline-my mom. That def helped. However I was only relieved from this guilt after talking to my sweet son. He was happy and so excited that instead of going to the library for a little while today we r going to try to go next week with the neighbors, downtown. That got me a hearty "cool. Love you Mom. Bye.". Insert relief and a smile. What I didn't tell him was my loftyh plans of taking the train to the downtown library! Nevermind its blocks from the trainstation...there I go again